My life was forever changed on February 2, 2016. It is time I start accepting myself now for who I am, not who I was prior to the accident. I hate it but I find myself thinking and comparing myself to where and who I was before the accident.
The hard part about it is that so much of myself has changed. The even harder part is that most of it is for the good. So why is that a bad thing? It isn’t! It is a great thing but for some reason all I can focus on is the less desirable changes.
Prior to my accident my anxiety was at an all time high. I couldn’t seem to get myself into a good head space no matter what I did. It was a struggle because I expecting myself to be perfect even though I knew it wasn’t possible. I stressed about just about everything and felt the need to control even more. However, I was in the best running shape of my life and 40 pounds lighter.
Today, I am managing my anxiety really well. I still have issues but it seem so much easier to control. Being perfect is no longer an issue, in fact it doesn’t even cross my mind. I am so much more easy going, I rarely stress about anything! I still like to be in control but it isn’t the same as it was before, it’s so much better. However, I have no desire to run and I weight 40 pounds more. All I can focus on is those two things, not all the really great changes!
It is time to start accepting myself for who I am now! Let’s be honest I have changed for the better! I know it but I just keep thinking about the fact I wear jeans two sizes bigger. I want so badly to not focus on my lack of running or my weight! Why can’t I change my way of think about this?
My therapist and I are focusing on re-framing my thinking. I know with time I will get there but I want it to happen sooner than later! In the mean time, I am working really hard to change my thinking and accepting myself for who I am!
Do you logically know something but still struggle with it? Do you have suggestion of how I can move on?