I had heard that people who lose a lot of weight struggle with self-image. I, personally, couldn’t believe that. I really thought that once I had lost a majority of the weight that I would love looking in the mirror, going shopping, and all the other things I dreaded before the weight loss. However, that wasn’t the case, I really did struggle with self-image.
I have always been self confident and even if I wasn’t I faked it and sometimes so well I made myself believe it. So, when I would see pictures or myself in the mirror it surprised me how self conscious it made me feel. I thought to myself, “I shouldn’t feel this way! I should be proud of myself for losing 90 pounds!”
I would get complements all the time about how great I looked but I didn’t see someone who looked great. I knew I had lost a lot of weight, so yes I knew I looked differently but I didn’t think I looked great. Most of the excess weight was gone but what I saw was my saggy arms or loose skin on my thighs and tummy.
It started to get better when I picked up running and cross training but I still had self image issues. I saw muscle gains in my legs but now my calves were huge! Again, I didn’t see what others were seeing.
I really didn’t want to feel this way. I wanted to love my new body and I felt bad because I didn’t. But then something happened! I started to see myself differently. I found myself smiling when I would catch glimpse of myself in a reflection. I would try on clothes and I would actually think I looked good.
And finally, I saw the picture that change my self image…
It isn’t even a great picture of me but you know what? It was the first time I saw myself as thin but even better, as strong and athletic.
What is even more surprising is that with the struggles I have been having recently (read about it here) I still have been feeling really positive about how I see myself! That is big for me because it really means I have had a mindset change.
I call it a journey for a reason, and this part of my journey took me a little longer to get to then I would have liked. However, with that said I got there and learned a lot in the process so I would say that it is a win!
My advice to those who are reading this and wondering if you will get there, I bet you will, you just need to do it at your own pace! As they say you didn’t gain the weight over night and you aren’t going to lose it over night, so we shouldn’t expect your mindset to change over night. But when the change happens you should be very proud of your self! I know I am!