That pit in my stomach just wasn’t going away. I couldn’t get rid of the anxious feeling.
I don’t hide the fact that I have anxiety and depression. But recently I kept telling myself that I finally had this bout under control and I was good. However, that wasn’t true. I had this constant anxious feeling that I couldn’t shake. But what did I do? I kept telling myself, people close to me, and my therapist that I was good and I felt great.
Why did I do that? Because I felt like if I told myself and everyone else that I was good, I would be good. You know the power of positive thought! But guess what? It didn’t work!
One morning I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had that pit in my stomach and that anxious feeling wasn’t going away, I had to do something about it. First I sat down and wrote my therapist an email to tell her about my realization. Then I scheduled an appointment with my primary care physician to discuss going back on medication. I won’t lie, for me that was a really hard appointment for me to make. I had no desire to go back on medication because as much good as it does, I just don’t like some of the side effects.
At my appointment with my PCP, we discussed that it is common for people to have cycles with their anxiety/depression and that I am just happen to be on the low side of things. He also let me know that it had been over five years since I had been on medication. For some reason, that made me feel a little better. We decided to try a medication I hadn’t tried in the past but had used something close to it and had good success. We also choose that medication because my anxiety is the trigger for my depression and we wanted to ensure we got ahead of it.
I have now been taking the medication for two weeks and I am happy to report I feel amazing! Or as amazing as you can feel when you are on meds for anxiety/depression. I am more tired than normal and have a little less desire to do things but emotionally I feel better than I have in over seven months.
I have no idea why but when I am on medication I feel like I failed at controlling my anxiety. Typically, I would be in a hurry to get off the medication but this time I am going to give it a while. As much as I hate being on it, I know it helps!
I guess, I just want to tell you, if you are dealing with mental health issues you aren’t alone! There are a lot of us out there that have issues! It is my hope that through open conversation and education we can end the stigma that accompanies mental health issues!
I’m linking up with Jill for Fitness Friday…